I’m working on a really exciting project and part of it has meant going back in my files and finding some gems.
The trip down memory lane was emotional, inspiring and reminded me of just how much we can change as people in a short period of time.
2016-2021- My story so far 💜
In this first image, the top left was the very beginning of my journey into fitness. I was morbidly obese, weighing 150kg and depressed. Before this I had tried every single diet imaginable and never found anything I could stick to. I had no idea that just round the corner was a journey that was going to change my life forever!
The photo on the right was when I had achieved my ‘goal weight’, although I look completely different I felt exactly the same as I did on the left. I wasn’t small enough. My only goal was to get smaller, I used weight training as a tool to lose weight and not as a tool to build strength. Out of all the stages of my journey, this was where I was most unwell- and ironically it’s also where I look ‘the best’ according to the general standard. #headfuck
The bottom left was when I really started to take my training in a different direction. I focused on strength and building muscle but my obsession changed from being small to being lean and I over trained consistently. Eventually my body was so exhausted from training that I struggled to do basic workouts.
On the right is me now! I realised that my happiness was never going to be tied to my aesthetic and that if I wanted to be happy I had to do the inner work. I had to find out why my journey unfolded as it did and why I was so wrapped up in my image. I committed to therapy, looked at my childhood, i brought up and felt all the emotions I had suppressed for years. This was not a pretty process but one that was needed. I found acceptance for my past 💜
2020 and 2021 hit me with 2 rounds of covid, leaving me with chronic fatigue and a body that struggled to do anything more than just showing up to work. I am on the mend now and getting my energy levels back, i retuned to training 6 weeks ago for the first time in over a year!
