Hunger as camouflaged depression & self abandonment 💜
Addictive behaviours, such as over eating, can be signs of our misguided attempts to self medicate feelings of abandonment and unmet attachment needs.
Emotional hunger is at the core of food addiction.
Finding compassion in these moments of self hatred, particularly when focused around weight gain and over eating is essential for moving out of depression. Food was the first source of self comforting that was EVER available to us as a child; making it entirely normal to over rely on it for feelings of nurture.
Have you ever found yourself feeling utterly depressed but with no idea what exactly you’re depressed about or how it even started?
Sometimes the tiniest feeling of depression can trigger us into a flashback of our original abandonment depression. When this happens, this is when our experience of parental abandonment when we were a child, has morphed into present day self abandonment (in other words, copying what you know).
One of the most helpful tools I learned from OA (a 12 step programme) was HALT.
HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. Whenever you feel any of these feelings, take a moment to pause and see if you have flashed back into an abandonment depression.
Feelings in an abandonment depression usually revolve around your unworthiness & not enoughness. You may notice that you stop doing any form of self care, showering & leaving the house or less not showing up to appointments & cancelling plans with friends. Negative self talk is usually rife and seemingly takes over your brain.
One way of showing yourself compassion during these times is by seeing these feelings as messages from your inner child who is feeling abandoned and is trying to communicate with you.
Often when we have this perspective of seeing ourselves as the young child, we are then able to sympathise and be kinder to ourselves.
Remember recovery is progressive …
You may feel like you have fallen off the horse, but you haven’t. Now, you just have a new experience to learn from 💜
